Drabble 243

Finished 5:29.

After Raven had finally given up on insulting Anansi, and quickly gotten fed up of waiting for whatever was going to happen, and demanded, “Just what exactly am I doing here?”

“You're here because I wish to present you an ultimatum,” replied Anansi.

“I don't want it,” snapped Raven.

“You haven't even heard it yet. Besides, it's not as simple as you say no and I let you go free,” said Anansi. “His majesty is still unhappy with you. But he has chosen to offer you the opportunity to earn his forgiveness.”

“Well I don't want it,” spat Raven, pouting.

Drabble 242

 Finished 6:24.

Blue, despite being extremely well acquainted with the woods and knowing most of the paths and deer-trails off by heart, had absolutely not idea where he was. All of the paths were somehow unfamiliar, and all of the trees, usually pretty easy to tell apart, suddenly looked the same. He had no idea what was going on, or even who to blame it on, but at least he was sure that, for once, it really wasn't his fault. That didn't change the fact that he was the one now lost in the woods, though, and it certainly wouldn't help him.

Drabble 241

Finished 5:32.

Back in the woods, Araziel was pretty sure that she was lost. She had lost track of the leprechaun, and there was no way that she was going to find her way back when all of the trees looked exactly the same. Had it happened to anyone else she would have scoffed at the irony of an elf being lost in the woods, although it was somehow less funny when it was happening to her. Trying to find her way back was never going to end well, so she sat down and waited for Blue to come and find her.

Drabble 240

 Finished 5:58.

When Raven had finally finished cursing he sat and waited quietly for Anansi to get around to whatever he was up to. That ended up taking far too long, since Anansi decided he would rather sit there quietly and watch Raven instead, so Raven did his best to repeat his repertoire of insults a third time. At least that had some impact on Anansi, though hardly the one Raven wanted since the other man looked immensely amused. “How much has he changed you? That new pet of yours...” Anansi murmured, and Raven decided a fourth time might do the trick.

Drabble 239

Finished 5:18.

Raven was left waiting for what he considered a ridiculous amount of time in the office before somebody actually came in. To be honest, as soon as he saw who it was he decided he's rather have been left waiting forever. He threw about every insult and curse he could come up with at Anansi, but since he'd been gagged all the other man heard was nearly fifteen minutes of mumbling. When Raven had finally run out of insults, Anansi pulled the gag away from his mouth. Raven spent the next fifteen minutes repeating all of those insults for Anansi.

Drabble 238

Finished 3:45.

Raven awoke, bound and gagged, in an unfamiliar room. It appeared to be an office of some kind, but was too plain, too empty, for him to discern anything more than that. Most people would have had a portrait hung somewhere, or a clock or some other personal object that would hint as to who was living there – hell, even Raven's cottage had acquired a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, and Blue's dirty clothes left lying in the hall and just Blue's mess in general, but this room was giving nothing away – It could have belonged to anyone.

drabble 237

Finished 6:16.

Raven was alone in the house with nothing to do, waiting in case his horse returned on her own, when somebody came knocking at the door. He almost ignored it, but there was always a chance that one of the villagers had found his horse and was bringing her back. However, when he opened the door he quickly discovered that this was not the case, and was immediately accosted by a pair of armoured soldiers. It occurred to him that he must have been getting sloppy, as he had none of his weapons to hand, and was quickly knocked unconscious.

Drabble 236

Finished 4:08.

When Blue returned to the woods there was no sign of Araziel besides her shoes, which had been left lying at the base of a tree. If he had been sensible he would have just waited there for her, rather than running blindly into the woods with no idea where she'd actually gone, and it was a testament to how much he'd actually grown this past year that he considered it. Then he remembered why he used to leave being sensible to Raven, set down the apples and reigns with Araziel's shoes, picked a direction at random and started running.

Drabble 235

 Finished 3:27.

Leaving her shoes at the base of a tree – they really were absurdly impractical – Araziel had chased after the leprechaun. As she would soon discover, this was by far the worst thing she could have done. Almost immediately the leprechaun veered off the path, leading her towards the densest part of the wood. She had very quickly lost track of where she was, and didn't doubt for one moment that that had been the leprechaun's intentions from the start. And then, just as soon as she was sure she was well and truly lost, the leprechaun seemed to disappear entirely.

Drabble 234

Finished 5:54.

Blue had returned to the house, leaving Araziel waiting in the woods, to fetch a bag of apples Raven's horse's reigns. It would be just her luck that it was while Blue was gone that she caught a hint of magick not too far away, and the sight, fleetingly, of a very short individual in a green suit. She really should have waited for Blue to get back, since he was supposed to be handling the physical violence side of things, but the leprechaun was already getting away and she didn't know if she'd be able to find it again.

Drabble 233

Finished 3:04.

“This is hopeless,” Araziel huffed, finding herself a log to sit down on and throwing herself down. “This leprechaun clearly doesn't want to be found, and I've no idea how to find it anyway.”

“Maybe we're going about it wrong?” suggested Blue.

“Blue, I'm not sure if there is any right way to go about this. We have no idea what we're even supposed to look for, or where we're supposed to look for it, or why it's even here in the first place.”

“Maybe we should try looking for the horse,” said Blue; “She might want to be found.”

Drabble 232

Finished 6:24.

Araziel hadn't quite recovered from her assault on Raven's liquor cabinet when she and Blue went back into the woods to search for the leprechaun. She had been using her hand to shield her eyes from the sun as she walked, nearly walking into a few trees as a result. “Araziel, there isn't even any light here; just walk normally,” Blue told her.

“If there is no light here then how is it too bright?” Araziel snapped.

“It isn't,” replied Blue. “And it's nobody's fault but your own that your head hurts. You shouldn't have drank so much last night.”

Drabble 231

Finished 6:16.

“Where has our Author gotten to?” Raven demanded, opening and closing the cupboards as though their elusive (and lazy) creator would be found within. “Well s/he isn't in the liquor cabinet, so you can get out of there,” Blue told him.

“Well they had better turn up soon, or this whole thing will be finished before we actually get anything done,” snapped Raven.

“They probably just got distracted by something shiny on Tumblr,” said Blue. It might have surprised them both that it was Blue who was remaining calm and rational, but Raven was distracted and Blue was actually drunk.

Drabble 230

Finished 5:29.

“Is it just me, or was the Author more productive when they didn't have internet?” asked Blue. They had not yet resumed the search for the leprechaun, and Blue was sitting at the table filing his nails, mostly just to kill time. “Well, I suppose having to use the library gave them a stricter deadline,” replied Raven.

“I can see a giant, gaping hole in that argument, Raven,” said Blue.

“Oh? And what would that be?” asked Raven.

“That it still requires some degree of competency on the Author's part for that to count for anything at all,” replied Blue.

Drabble 229

Finished 3:10. As you can likely guess by the ridiculous time, I now have my internet back.

Raven was mourning the loss of the content of his liquor cabinet when the Author's wi-fi returned. “The good news is we can now return to our regular broadcasting,” Blue told him. “The bad news is that Araziel's still sleeping off a hangover.”

“I think I would be happier sleeping off a hangover right now... or, you know, drunk,” he murmured.

“Has it ever occurred to you that this is what people are talking about when they say you have a drinking problem?” asked Blue.

“It's occurring to me right now,” replied Raven, closing the liquor cabinet and stepping away.

Drabble 228

Finished 15:07. Library.

 

And on the sixth day Araziel had turned to drink. Specifically, she had turned to Raven's drinks, which certainly had not pleased the assassin. “How long does it take to fix a phone line, anyway?” Raven hissed at Blue, making sure to stay out of sight of Araziel who, as it turned out, was a rather angry drunk. “I don't know, and I don't think the Author likes this any more than we do,” snapped Blue. “How are we even discussing phone lines, anyway? We live in a psudo-medieval setting with no electricity, we should be calling those things witchcraft.”

Drabble 227

Finished 17:17. Still in the library. Still don't like actually being productive.

After five days of waiting with absolutely nothing to do, Araziel was just about to go mad. “How long does it take for the Author to get – whatever this is – fixed? Or at least let the rest of us get on with our lives in the meantime,” she ranted.

“It won't kill you to take some time to relax, you know,” Raven told her.

“It might not kill me but I very well might kill you,” she snapped. “In case you have forgotten, I'm supposed to be running a country. I don't have time to sit around twiddling my thumbs.”

Drabble 226

Finished 17:27. This may be the earliest I've ever finished one of these. But then, the library here closes in half an hour, and I wanted to get this up tonight. Damn deadlines, forcing me to be productive :p

Araziel was sitting out on the porch, drumming her fingers on her knee. “You really don't like this, do you?” asked Blue from behind her, startling the elf and nearly making her fall from her seat. “Hate what?” she asked, after she had composed herself.

“Hate not doing anything,” Blue replied.

“You're one to talk. Usually you would have murdered multiple small children by this point.” Blue cocked his head to one side, pursed his lips and murmured, ”Huh. You know, you're probably right. You think maybe this could be that 'character development' thing people keep on telling me about?”

Drabble 225

Finished on time last night at 2:24. 

Blue, Raven and Araziel were sitting around the kitchen table, playing poker and betting with pieces of beef jerky. “Why are we just sitting here, again? Don't we have things to do?” asked Araziel.

“The Author's experiencing technical difficulties,” explained Raven.

“And we can't use this opportunity to get something constructive done?”

“Well we could,” replied Raven, “but I'd rather use this opportunity to take a break for once.” He leaned across the table, swatted Blue's head and snapped, “Blue, stop eating the jerky.” Blue grumbled a threw a piece at Raven's head, but otherwise did as he was told.

Drabble 224

 Was finished on time at 4:46, still no internet to upload.

“Okay, seriously? Now what's broken?”

“The internet,” replied Raven.

“The whole internet?” asked Blue.

“Just a small part of it. The Author would be in a lot of trouble if they broke the whole internet.” Blue scratched his head and hmmed. “How many more times do you think this is going to happen?” he asked.

“Are we taking bets?” asked Raven.

“Sure, why not?”

“Well, there are four and a half months left, so assuming two breakdowns a month... that gives us nine.”

“Are we going to have to start recording them now?” asked Blue.

“Yes we are,” replied Raven.

Drabble 223

This was actually finished on time at 4:12, but due to a lack of internet connection (long story short the phone line is down) I couldn't upload it. I'm in the library right now, which I'd rather not be, using their internet to post. This may be an issue for a while yet.

 

Dear Author,

I would like to extend my gratitude for all your assistance over the years. For all of the minions you have provided, though most were incompetent and could not shoot fish in a barrel, for all of them monsters you've sent, though most of them were eventually defeated by the hero, and for my Right Hand Man who will inevitably betray me. I would also like to thank you for all of my daring escapes, which of course entirely makes up for the fact that you've not yet given me a single complete victory.

With love, your villain.

Drabble 222

Finished 6:33.

Blue had sat down next to Araziel, and was drinking from a hip flask that he had seemingly procured from nowhere. “Where did you get that?” asked Araziel.

“I brought it with me from the house,” Blue answered.

“I didn't see you carrying it,” she said.

“It was in my pocket.”

“Blue, you don't have any pockets,” she told him.

“What are you talking about? They're right -” Blue started, patting his thighs in search of his pockets. “- Huh. Okay, apparently I don't have any pockets after all. So how did I manage to get the flask out here?”

Drabble 221

Finished 6:39.

“Okay, I give up,” sighed Araziel; “where did you find the leprechaun last time?”

“We didn't so much find it as it randomly turned up and fucked our shit up,” replied Blue.

“Great,” she snapped. “So I'm really supposed to just sit here and wait for it? How long is that going to take?”

“I don't know; I've never gone looking for a leprechaun before.” Araziel threw herself down on the ground, not even bothered enough to worry about the dirt on her dress, and put her head in her hands. “I should never have agreed to this,” she said.

Drabble 220

Strike 8. Last day of Gishwhes and a frantic rush to get in last minute submissions and this wasn't done on time. Finished 11:23, a day late.

“Come here, little leprechaun! Where are you?” called Araziel, as she traipsed through to woods in search of the elusive creature and Raven's missing horse. “Maybe we should lay a trap?” suggested Blue. “What do leprechauns eat, anyway?”

“I don't know. Small children?” said Araziel. “Why is there even a leprechaun here? They live much farther west than this.”

“I just blame the Author; works like a charm.” Araziel hit Blue off the head with her hand-fan, leaving Blue to trail after her, grumbling. “Why is everyone so mean to me?” he asked, and Araziel turned and hit him again.

Drabble 219

Finished 6:51.

 

In a rickety old house at the end of the street, a ghost lived all alone. The windows of the house had all been smashed and though they were boarded up the wind would slip through the gaps, whistling through the house. The garden was overgrown with weeds, and the gate shrieked in protest at any attempt to open it. Still the ghost waited, desperately hoping that one day life would return to the house, that it would be filled with anything other than the rats who paid no mind to the ghost's rattling of chains and rearrangements of furniture.

Drabble 218

Finished 5:52.

“How do you plan to go about locating this leprechaun, anyway?” asked Blue.

“Honestly?” replied Araziel; “I'm going to walk around in circles until I stumble across something vaguely magickal.”

“Well you might want to change into some more sensible shoes, because you're going to be doing a lot of walking,” Blue suggested.

“Really? You're telling me to wear sensible shoes?” Blue looked down at his bare feet, shrugged and said, “Hey, it's comfortable. You'll break an ankle in those heels.” Araziel snorted, but as soon as Blue's back was turned she kicked off her shoes and put them aside.

Drabble 217

 Finished 5:02. My computer refused to start, and I had written about 35 words on paper to type up via my phone when I finally got it working. Not happy.

“Seriously? Technical difficulties? Again? Is our Author cursed or something?” asked Blue.

“I'm not going to discount it as a possibility,” replied Raven. Blue was pacing the room, making a point to kick any unsuspecting inanimate object he encountered. “Why don't they just invest in a typewriter? Surely that couldn't crash on them?”

“Couldn't is a very strong word,” said Raven. “Personally I wouldn't want to underestimate our Author's technological incompetence; I think a typewriter may be a little to advanced for them.”

“Yeah, well, I'm starting to think fire may be a little too advanced for them,” snarled Blue.

Drabble 216

Finished 6:50.

“A leprechaun?” asked Araziel, incredulously. “You want me to help locate a leprechaun? Do you have any idea the sort of magick that would require?”

“But you can do it, right? You're an elf, you must have some magick,” said Raven.

“I'm a politician, not a wizard. You're really going to need to find somebody more qualified for this,” she said.

“I'm not sure if you've noticed this, but there aren't any more qualified people willing to work with me,” hissed Raven.

“And now why is that?”

“Probably because I tend to kill more qualified people for money!” he snapped.

Drabble 215

Finished 6:55.

 

It was the middle of the night and Raven had searched the stables, the fields and a good portion of the woods and hadn't found a trace of his horse. He eventually returned home to find Blue asleep at the kitchen table. He shook him awake, gently at first but much harder when he wasn't up soon enough. “Blue, where is my horse?” he asked, while Blue was still rubbing his eyes and trying to get his bearings. “You promised you wouldn't flip out,” Blue pointed out.

“And I won't,” replied Raven; “if you tell me where my horse is.”

Drabble 214

 Finished 6:55.

 

Blue had left the stables in a huff, presumably returning to the house, and Raven was sitting on his own. He couldn't quite figure out what it was, but something was very, very off. He'd looked around and so far nothing was on fire, nothing was leaking and nothing was visibly about to collapse, but he couldn't quite shake the feeling that something was just wrong. He'd been in there quite a while when it finally clicked, and he looked around the stable once again, with absolutely no sign of his mare, and asked, “Where the fuck is my horse?”

Drabble 213

Finished 6:15.

 

Blue sat watching the twitching corpse of the Author. “Raven? Hypothetically speaking, what would happen to us is the Author were to die, but then returned as a member of the undead? Would we still exist? How are we even still existing now?” Raven, who had been entertaining himself with a bottle of the Author’s favourite vodka, merely shrugged and said, “Damned if I know – I'm just happy for the peace and quiet.” Blue nudged to corpse with his foot, jumping back with a yelp when it stirred. “I only like zombies when they're a danger to others,” said Blue.

Drabble 212

Okay, late. Strike 7. I had most of this done on time but it just didn't seem to want to be finished. Those last couple of lines were a bitch. I'm pretty much not sleeping right now - yay insomnia - have been in constant, unexplainable pain since January, which doesn't help with the lack of sleep, and to top it all off I got to spend all of yesterday stripping wallpaper, but you aren't here to hear me bitch about my life. To the drabble:

 

Raven found Blue in the stables. He sat down next to him, carefully brushing aside the straw, and put an arm around Blue's shoulder. “Look, I'm not going to yell at you, okay,” he said. “Whatever you were trying to tell me earlier... just... tell me. I won't flip out, I promise.”

“I'm not sure that I really believe you,” said Blue, pushing Raven away and getting up to leave.

“I'm sorry, okay? What more do you want?”

“You could stop blaming me for every little thing that goes wrong in your life; that would be a start,” suggested Blue.